Questions without answers…
Sometimes I find myself asking questions at a point when I know nobody’s around. Once in a while I feel as if it’s my own way of analyzing things, but other times it feels like I’m running from the actual answers. It’s like an addictive therapy. Well of course there are some questions I don’t want to hear the answers to aloud, the one’s I know in my heart but I’m not ready to deal with. Most people have them…I’m sure…but I’ve found myself drowning in them lately.
These are some topics to questions that consume me…mostly my marriage…my pregnancy…and the fact that my Husband is going to leave to Afghanistan for one year. (The main thing I’ve learned is that when he says one year it could really mean over one year even two. You see it’s not really up to him at all so we have to deal with it, like it or not.) He might be in the States when I give birth…but it isn’t really set in stone. I’m only praying for him to get back before our son’s first birthday-healthy, strong, mentally sound, still himself, and ready to meet his new family.
For now there are a lot of questions without answers…in the end…when I stop thinking about them all I conclude that if life was definitive…if we had all the answers…life wouldn’t be something worth living. This isn’t meant to leave those who’ve read this with a somber taste in your mouths, it’s just to show you part of my reality, one of the ways I choose to deal with life. I would never change a thing. Life passes by quicker and challenges become tougher, but your decisions are what mold you and the path you make.